Bless the Blood A Cancer Memoir 1st Edition Walela Nehanda

Hopscotch for Leukemia Was Apparently for a Real Disease

Phase 3 CML Described Like a Genre of Sci-Fi for the Sake of Your Understanding

Symptoms of the Undiagnosed

“Family Reunion”-The O’Jays

The Mirage After Diagnosis

The Mentor’s Silence

The Stench

You Don’t Understand Sacrifice…

Leukapheresis

My Mother Asks, “What Do You Want to Have Happen if You Die?” and We Sign the Advanced Directive

My Fiancée, Ivie, and I Open Our Memory Box in My Hospital Room

Unfortunately, a Formal Diagnosis of Leukemia Requires a Bone Marrow Biopsy

The First Set of Seven Days

I Guess I’ve Experienced Salvation

The Family Home Rules Described to Me, at 23 Years Old, Before Discharge

My Childhood Home

The Second Set of Seven Days

Irony Tells One More Joke

The Novelty of Cancer Is Wearing Off

“Will I” Sung by the 2008 Cast of the Broadway Production of Rent

Two Versions of Myself Split Off and Meet in My Childhood Bedroom

I, on the Other Hand, Do Not Belong to My Parents.

“Like Rock & Roll and Radio”-Ray Lamontagne

Family of Spies

The Early 2000s Weren’t as Liberal as Everyone Claims

An Invisible Orb Is Prescribed a Treatment Plan

The First Oral Chemotherapy: Tasigna

Ivie and I Make Monuments Memorializing My Childhood Neighborhood

The Third Set of Seven Days

A Sarcastic Blessing for the First Man Who Complimented My Early Leukemia Symptoms, 2015

A Sarcastic Blessing for the Second Man Who Complimented My Early Leukemia Symptoms, 2016

The Cancer Support Group

Concept: Coraline but Make It Black

The Starbucks Off Crenshaw & Expo

My Wedding Vows for Ivie-Just in Case:

A Brief Autobiographical Moment in My Cancer Support Group

A Tenderness Only Reserved for Myself…

Phantom Pain

Tracing Roots of a Family Tree

If Ernie Barnes’s a Walk in Faith Portrait Could Walk Out the Frame

Portrait of Remembrance

Jasper, Tx:

I’ve Always Wanted a Big Family

Degnan Blvd

A Christmas Baptism into Hell Aka the Honeymoon Phase Is Unexpectedly Over for Unforeseen Reasons

“All Alone on Christmas”-Darlene Love

Synonym for Gaslighting

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, or Whatever Rihanna Said

The Bad Black Cancer Patient Who Leapt Through Time

“Yeah, Some Guy Was Talking About…”

Two Black People with Medi-Cal Walk into a Bar

“Is It Me, Am I the Problem?”

We Can’t Buy a Cure, but We Can Sure Try

Burdensome Horrors

The Isle of Misfit Toys

But You Don’t Look Sick

My Great-Uncle Claudius Will Never Be Included in Who Moulin Rouge! Was About

I Find Out How My Great-Grandmother Died

Enemy of the State

Delusions of Prophecies

“One of the Most Painful Things…”

Two Black Medi-Cal Patients Walk into the County Building

The County Building Is the Gauntlet.

I Don’t Care if He “Saved” My Life, After This I’m Switching Oncologists

The World Don’t Care if You’re Broke, Everything Comes at a Cost

Luck Be a Roll-A-Dice When You a Nigga

In This Dream,

I Go Searching for My Mother in the Wrong People

Neutrality Is Not Peaceful

It’s My Party and I Can’t Cry if I Want To

The Assumptions

Nonbinary as In

Disordered Eating Overstays Its Welcome

iMessage Cranks My Eating Disorder to 1000

Scene: A Patient Attempts to Prevent the Inevitable

Authorizations on Medi-Cal Be Like

When the Oral Chemo Fails, Part One: Tasigna

Unsolicited Advice

I Think I Want to Be a Grief Worker

“I Want to Write Rage…”

Please Remember, We Met Before and We Will Meet Again

Bless the Blood

“Grandma’s Hands”-Bill Withers

The Black Parent Trap but with Grandchildren

“Fast Car”-Tracy Chapman

Eight-Year-Old Me Has a Dream Come True: Stevie, Ivie, and I Find a Puppy to Adopt

Ivie and I Open the Memory Box, Part Two

Death Interrupts the Shred of Normalcy I’m Finding and Announces: Everyone Black with Cancer Keeps Dying

Crip vs. Crip

Survivor’s Guilt

Social Media Is a Bitter Wasteland

For Whitney Houston

“Bills, Bills, Bills”-Destiny’s Child

Cancer and the Illusion of Choice:

The New Oral Chemo: Bosulif

The Bad Black Stressed-Out Cancer Patient Who Leapt Through Time, Part Two

I’m Noticing Chaos and Sex Are What Ivie Thrives On

Ivie’s Family Had to Pack Up and Move to a New Spot and Now We Live by the Marathon Store

When We Left the Old House on Degnan

Déjà Vu

The Aftermath

The Crisis Hotline Volunteer Calls the Suicide Hotline

I Send God a Voice Note

This Is My First Therapy Session in a Minute, Part One

This Is My First Therapy Session in a Minute, Part Two

I Have Highs and Lows in the Thirty-Minute Uber Drive Home from Therapy and Ignore My Ancestors Again

I Cried at the Dentist Today.

Running on E

Ambivalence Toward Sex

Beast of No Wild

My Therapist Asks Me to Describe My Self-Blame

April 9, 2017: Twenty-Four Hours Before the Cancer Is Named

The Heart Interrogates Me and My Trauma

Messages in a Bottle Lost on an Island Shore Somewhere

Psalm 91: Papa

Who My Mother Reflects

Chosen Love Heals and Breaks and Heals and Breaks My Mama

Three Generations in a Frame

25 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 25

Magic Survived My Mother’s Attempt to Annihilate My Memory

Photographs Carry More Historical Weight for Black People Than We Are Taught

Taking a Picture So We Can Forget the Conditions and Remember the Moment

Five Feet Apart (2019 Film)

On Generational Trauma:

Megan Thee Stallion, aka Tina Snow,

The Nail Salon as Self-Care

That “For the Love of You” by the Isley Brothers Type of Love

Driveway as a Crossroads

The Breakup

The Suicide Attempt Is Kurt Cobain’s Heart-Shaped Box

My Nervous System and Leukemia Link Up and Take Their Revenge Out on Me

“Heard It All Before” by Sunshine Anderson Takes My Mind Off Going to the Er

American Horror Story: Racist Hospital Edition

Medical Apartheid: A White Boy Says, “Saw You Post Some Heavy Shit, Hope You’re Doing Okay”

I Don’t Need My Mother Before She Needs Me Anymore

I Keep Choking on You in My Sleep

The Breakdown I Can Only Dream to Have

7 Layers of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (After “7 Layers of Hell” by Sierra Demulder)

I Meet My Psychiatrist for the First Time and the Color Theory Behind Red Forms

You Ask Me Why I Still Want You Since You’ve Hurt Me Over and Over

Change = Grief + Acceptance

“The Only Lasting Truth Is Change.

Invisible Heavenly Bodies

“Why Did You Go Through with a Stem Cell Transplant?”

I . . . Think I Wanna Look Into Doing a Stem Cell Transplant?

Understanding Requires Discipline

Pinafore St

Life Decisions Made in the Bathroom of Bossa Nova Brazilian Cuisine

“I Didn’t Want to Spend the Rest of My Life Wondering What Would Have Happened if I Went Through Transplant,” Kathryn Replies.

The Lyft Driver Stops at a Red Light…

Journal Entry: My Last Cancer Support Group Meeting in Person Until Next Time, Oct. 2019

I Dropped Out of College After My First Semester, But . . .

The Tests to Calculate if My Body Can Withstand a Transplant

I Didn’t Know My Last Christmas Would Be My Last Because of Miss Rona

Journal Entry: COVID Got Me Fucked Up: March 2020

When the Oral Chemo Fails, Part Two: Bosulif

There Will Be More Pandemics

Mass Death & Productivity

To Be Young, Black, and Gay and Lonely

The Codependent Waltzes to FKA Twigs’s “Cellophane,” Nov. 2020

I Already Prepared My Funeral Before a Pandemic So You All Don’t Have To

Curveball

Spirit, if You Are Listening,

Shaving My Head in My First-Ever Apartment, July 2020

Haunted Hill House Follows Us Everywhere

“Hostage”-Billie Eilish

There Is No Prescription for Grief

Irony Makes One Last Joke-I Promise It’s the Last One

Exploitation in Death

Chemotherapy, Round Three: Iclusig

Messages in a Bottle Lost on an Island Shore Somewhere, Part Two

Turns Out My Mother Didn’t Block My Number

My Donor

The Grand Exile

The Hickman as My Last Tattoo Session

My Last Night with Riley

Highway to Transplant

Dear God…

Compared to the Oral Chemo Pills…

My Granny and I Both Do Transplant Together Cuz We Both Have (Had) Leukemia:

Total-Body Radiation

“If You Want to Have Some of the Best Chances of Getting Out This Hospital…”

Walker, Meet Walker Mathews

“High” by Miley Cyrus, of All Things, Makes Me Cry in the Transplant Unit

Future Me Meets My Younger Self Before the Cancer:

Mary Meets Mary

Heaven Is at Grandma’s House

Crawling Toward the Sky

“What Is There Possibly Left for Us to Be Afraid Of…”